she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
