mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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