C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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