OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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