I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
