Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Randomize
