i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can you bring me the toilet please
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
