arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
