my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need to sanitize my soul.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
