so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
