No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
