I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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