OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
