He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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