Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
