After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
