Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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