I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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