I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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