1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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