you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
