my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
