Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
