I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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