Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Barsexuality is the new black.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
