I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize