moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize