What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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