I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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