New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
