Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
