Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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