I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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