There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
