nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
