We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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