Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
