She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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