happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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