your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
