I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
so much tequila, so little girl.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize