ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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