Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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