Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize