he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
