I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
nutella sex= disaster
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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