I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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