His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize