a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want nice things and good sex
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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