i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
