I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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