Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
