I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
