last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
