Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
