sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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