I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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