WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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