It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
