Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
