Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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