can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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