She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
