if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
