MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
