Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
