One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize